Are you very demure, very mindful?
Every now and then, a new word or phrase explodes on TikTok. Suddenly, it's all anyone can say. The latest to enter the chat? Introducing “very demure,” often followed by “very mindful.”
OK, so what is going on here, and why is everyone on TikTok suddenly so “demure?” Yes, demure means “reserved, modest, and shy,” but, no, this isn't a Bridgerton-inspired or trad wife-coded trend promoting ladylike behavior. It's…well…just a silly joke.
What is the “very demure, very mindful” TikTok trend?
The phrase was coined by TikToker Joolie Lebron, who first used the phrase in a satirical video about workplace beauty etiquette that recommended being “demure and modest and respectful at the workplace.”
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“I don’t do too much, I’m very mindful while I’m at work,” Lebron said of her workplace look. “See how I look very presentable? The way I came to the interview is the way I go to the job.”
After the video took off, Lebron leant into the joke, making being “demure” her whole schtick. There are videos of her thanking her hotel staff demurely, queuing for a plane demurely, exiting a plane demurely and “doing her midnight munchies” very demurely, very mindfully.
Plenty of other TikTokers have leapt on the trend. “Bed rotting, but make it demure,” wrote one.
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Another showcased how pouring wine into a glass is “very demure, very mindful,” while others took to eating doughnuts:
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Is there some deep meaning to all of this demure mindfulness? Thankfully, no. It's silly, it's fun—at the very most, it is perhaps a knowing satirical comment on some TikTok influencers' inability to do anything without highlighting how they're doing it.
As Lebron has reminded us all, sometimes, we just need to let women live without telling them to be demure or mindful or cutesy. Is this the trend that finally manages to capture the unique state of brain mush we get from endless TikTok trends? It just might be.
This post was originally published in Glamour UK.